When John Bonham became an art critic

In their early years, Led Zeppelin had a close relationship with Denmark and frequently stopped by. Denmark was actually where Jimmy Page (guitars), Robert Plant (vocals), John Paul Jones (bass and organ), and John Bonham (drums) performed their first four shows together. It happened on the 7th and 8th of September 1968, and they were still going under the Yardbirds moniker (as “New Yardbirds”).

This wasn’t long after Yardbirds had imploded, and Page was at that point fulfilling obligations with his new group of musicians. There hadn’t been much promotion about the changes to the Yardbirds’ lineup beyond the addition of “New” to their name. Several of those in attendance were probably quite surprised to find that vocalist Keith Relf had been replaced by someone sporting what was referred to as a ‘hippie look’ with long, golden hair and frilly clothing. They would soon see the raw talent on display and change their tune.

These first Led Zeppelin shows in early September were played just three weeks prior to them recording their first album, and a full month before they played their first ever show in England on 4 October. They were still referred to as the (New) Yardbirds at that point. Their first show as Led Zeppelin did not happen until 25 October.

This means that when they returned to Denmark six months later, in March 1969, that was their first appearances as Led Zeppelin. They played shows on the 15th and 16th, spending the 17th recording a TV performance. The result was a high-quality (although black and white) recording from very early on in their career, performing four songs from their first album in full over the course of a half hour. These are so highly regarded that the band included them on their 2DVD set released in 2003.

The next time they arrived to perform was 28 February 1970. This turned into a controversial visit, thanks to countess Eva von Zeppelin. The band arrived to find a legal threat waiting for them.

Countess Eva von Zeppelin was the granddaughter of the late German inventor of the zeppelin dirigible airship. She did not at all agree to the band using her family name, and said if the band were to use the name in her country again, she would sue.

Jimmy Page recalled years later that at first the countess had been thrilled to learn there was a British band using the family name, but she changed her mind after seeing the image on the band’s first album (the crash of the Hindenburg – which was a zeppelin).

The group decided to play it safe. For their show in Copenhagen on that day in 1970, the band reportedly changed its name for one night only to ‘The Nobs’ (British slang for male genitalia). It should be said that this story is undocumented, and although it has been passed down several times over the years, no one really knows how exactly this storied name change was done. All of the concert tickets and posters had already been printed up well in advance, and all of them clearly said ‘Led Zeppelin’. The show was also sold out, so a last-minute name change would not have mattered.

Would introducing themselves as ‘The Nobs’ on stage be enough from a legal perspective? Who knows, but it’s a funny story.

In the end, the band never heard of the matter again, and for their future shows in Denmark in 1973 and 1979 there would be no name change involved.

Still, at the time the threat of potential legal action from Countess von Zeppelin did cause a lot of interest from the press, and it was decided that the band would hold a press conference to answer questions. Manager Peter Grant saw it as an excellent promotional opportunity, especially when the press conference was arranged to be held at a very fancy art gallery in downtown Copenhagen.

Press conferences can be drawn-out affairs, especially to band members who tend to just sit there and not be terribly involved in the answering of questions. John Bonham hated press conferences, possibly just as much as he hated art galleries. He would very often be resigned to sitting there for the duration without saying a word, but usually at the very least enjoying a pint or three while the others answered questions.

Unfortunately for him, the art gallery in Copenhagen had no alcohol service. He had to just sit and wait it all out. He was bored out of his mind.

Then, out of the blue, one of the journalists decided to take pity on the drummer and ask him a question. It had nothing to do with himself, his drumming, or the band. Instead, the journalist asked him his opinion on a particular painting that was hanging on the wall.

Bonham stared at the painting, then at the journalist. He got up, walked over to the painting and very carefully took it down. He then walked over to the journalist and matter-of-factly smashed the painting over his head.

After sitting down again, Bonham simply said “If there are any other paintings you would like me to review, just let me know.”

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